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Whatever Happens, I’ll Leave It All To Chance

3 Sep

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Tonight my friends daughter was calling for me through the house. I came around the corner and she goes “Did you dream about your wedding when you were young?” I told her that I did, I told her that I dreamed of a long blowy dress, being married outside, walking down the isle to John Denver with my dad, and saying I do surrounded by family and friends.

Thankfully, that all happened. Then she asked me when I knew that I wanted to marry Harold and when he was the one. Isn’t that a silly question? Well, it took me a second, because it really wasn’t silly. On the outside it looked like he proposed, I said yes, and several months later I walked down the isle to my best friend and we were happy ever after, the birds sang, the clouds opened, and we were eternally bound. The answer I gave was no where near that simple.

I’m going to write this because I hope that someday my kids see it, my friends see it, and it gives clarity as to why I said yes at such a crazy time in my life to commit to something that was so big.

Harold and I had been learning so much about each other at such a fast rate. We were in an incredibly tense time in our relationship in which I was learning that walking away and shutting the door wasn’t the answer, that you need to learn what other people like and grow instead of just moving on. He was learning that I am insane and sometimes I’m just bananas, but that it comes from a good place and I want to help people. I was listening to God so much during that time. I remember spending nights just asking for help. I was so stressed from my job, and I was young. I was in a relationship that came with an instant family and instant responsibilities that stretch way beyond the skills I had learned as a babysitter.

Then I heard exactly what God wanted me to hear. It made sense. In all other times in my life, when I wasn’t happy, or it didn’t suit me, I just turned around. I felt like it was their fault, their problem, but this time I wasn’t walking away, and I actually cared. There was no blaming past experiences for making me that way, or changing myself from the core to be what they wanted and it not working out because it was a superficial false costume. I wanted to better myself, to be the best person that I could be, for him, for me, for everyone. I figured out that walking away would never make it better. It would just make it happen again, but I wouldn’t want to stay the next time, or the time after that. I heard the word of Him, and He asked if I would ever go through this for anyone else, and I knew the answer.

I wouldn’t.

That’s it. I knew. I was in it for the long haul. That was November, and then magically he proposed a month later, and completely caught me off guard. Harold had even bought the ring during the time of my mini revelation. I believe in fate, soul mates, the greater good, and everything falling into place. It takes time, it takes work, but it happens.

Plus, if you really want to get to the nitty gritty, one time before Harold and I were even friends, he offered me a ride once when I was walking home from work. I said no, I don’t accept rides from strangers. He asked me repeatedly because it was so cold out, and I kept saying no and walking. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I said yes. It doesn’t matter though, he still would have wound up being my husband.

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My deepest apologies on not posting. I’m here to confess that I have a disease, it’s called summeritus.

5 Aug

Mamma Chair!

Holy moley rice and cheese it’s HOT! I think today it managed to get to 90 something degrees. It was humid. I think. Obviously I was never going to be a meteorologist. Regardless, not my favorite. I’m a fall person. I love me some autumn weather. Believe me, I love summer. Both my kids birthdays are in the summer, we go camping, there is roasted pig, family games of horse shoes, frozen yogurt, the works, but I just don’t LOVE it like some people do. Do you want to know why?

When I’m hot, I can only take so much clothing off until I’m arrested.

Plain and simple. I dislike summer so A. You don’t have to experience my public indecency & B. So I stay out of the slammer.

Sweat Peas!

In the midst of staying out of the big house, I have been keeping busy all summer. Camping trips, art camps, town festivals, and best of all potty training Kirby! I know, you gasp. He isn’t even two you say? Well, I have a huge secret; he wants to. Other then encouraging his naked butt to potty when he feels like it, it’s been happening. I have drawn some lucky lottery, in which the win is having a boy, younger then two, be basically potty trained. He still sleeps in a diaper, and wears his huggies and luvs out of the house, but for the most part at home, it’s the big boy undies. When out and about, he tells us he needs to go with a series of grabbing and pointing. It works. We love it. I’m counting my blessings as we speak.

There isn’t much happening on this side of the water other then my babies turning six and two next weekend, and working in a building that I can’t figure out if it’s air conditioned or not.

Dancing in the almost moonlight

Hopefully I’ll keep up the posting, until then, I hope you enjoy the once in a blue yonder posts.
xoxo
Caitlin

My dad is awesome, just saying…

17 Jun

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Today is Father’s day! I was very lucky growing up that my dad was my rock, and the one man that would always be there for me. Harold is the same for our kids, and I see so many of the qualities that I love in my father in him. He wants to provide the best he can, the pride, and the unconditional love. I loved growing up that my dad always involved my sister and I in his daily chores, he taught us how to wash a car appropriately (start at the top and save the tires for last!), how to build a scale model car and follow directions appropriately, and how to calculate damage when a level 5 Owl bear attacks your level 3 cleric during a routine check out of the wooded area that your clan has stopped the night in. My dad taught me a whole lot of things, and I am grateful. Daphne and Kirby get to make the same memories with my dad, and he gets to go through all the fun of being a father all over again. Harold gets to make his own versions of these memories with the kids, and I love how he teaches them new and fun things all the time. He is a great father, and I love seeing how he is with each child, being calm and smothering Daphne with love when she finishes a hard piece of homework, and excited and letting Kirby explore when they are outside and exploring. I love every second of it, and I don’t think there is a way for me to describe how much I love all the dads in my life. They are all the bees knees if I do say so myself.

Caitlin

Simple. Safe. Delicious.

10 Jun

I am blessed on Sundays. On Sundays, I pack up Kirby and we go spend the evening with our friend Brady and Robyn, and their five kids. Other friends join us for a supper that normally has a theme, and we dine and catch up. Karen and Robyn talk about horses, and I politely excuse myself to the outside to check on the kids, because I know nothing about horses. Of course, I am PRO Pony, but I know nothing. My friends love them, and I love my friends. So I guess, in a way, I love horses? It’s like six degrees from Kevin Bacon, but it’s more like six degrees from horses.

One of the magical things that happens on Sundays is that I get to watch Kirby and Alayna play. They are a week apart, with Alayna being a week older (she is such a cougar), and born in the same hospital.

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We finished it off with Pina Colada Bundt cake. It was amazing. I already knew I would like it as soon as Robyn said she was making it, I mean seriously, I already like getting caught in the rain. I’m not so big on waking up at midnight though, and dunes are a hit or miss in my book (sand can really get everywhere), but I am still in favor of Pina Colada anything.
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Happy Sunday!